Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because it’s really fucking hard. You have to learn it. Giving good head is the key to just about everything in life (including getting good head later on), so it’s time we broke it down.
Like this.    The secret to giving good head is to read the signs. You could be the best sexual mechanic in the world, but if you can’t read the emotional road signs, you’re going to end up wandering around in a desolate labial wasteland until, eventually, you drop from exhaustion, hot tears of confusion streaming down your face.    Think of eating the puss as your way of saying, “although I am about to rock your insides with 3 000 lbs. of explosives, here’s a little intimate treat session to show you how I really feel.” Instead of screaming “OH MY GOD!!” like her baby has been trapped under a car (which is what fucking should do), cunnilingus elicits a more splendiferous “ooohmygodohmygod-ohmygod.” Kind of like being massaged with exotic fruits by a muscular Arab oil sheik. A good mange (that’s French for “eat,” you brutes) is like a thousand years of Saturdays or one of those Flake adverts.    Break it down!
BE DOWN
Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven.    DON’T SAY HI TO DRY    A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that’s needed to get the honey dripping.    Once you’re sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, TEASING strokes with your finger. There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers.
Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950s milkshake with two straws.
Important: Don’t play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside. This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the TEASE factor. Try to remember that 78% of a woman’s pleasure is about YEARNING. Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire.
SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU, BABY 
Once she’s lathered up, it’s time to go down. Get your fingers out of there and don’t touch anything for a bit. Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you’re going away on vacation.    Though it’s very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea. It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood.    Start by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down. Don’t get carried away with those stupid tits, though. That’s something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off. Right now it’s all about the stomach and inner thighs. A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee and move towards the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop. Nibble your way right up to the edge of her cunt, then skip across it and head for the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot and save you a lot of pussy-eating time in the long run.    When you’re just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice next to the lips. Don’t spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that’s the actual cunt.    By now she should be DYING for you to make your move. If you’re doing it right, she’ll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs. STRETCH THIS PHASE OUT until she looks like she’s been holding her breath for three days.
Extra trick: Hover over the bush for about five seconds before the first lick. If you wait longer than that, she might think you’re having second thoughts because it smells bad. Of course, we all knows that motherfucker smells sweeter than a bowl of steamin’ crawdaddies.
Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever. If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off.
PARTING THE RED SEAS 
Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating pussy what cavities are to dental hygiene. You’re never going to be able to identify all the parts if she looks like that PIL album That What is Not. One hot trick is to get her to spread her lips apart so her pussy is all set up for you like a great big buffet.
THE GRAND ENTRANCE 
Do your first lick super slow. It’s good to groan and moan too. It shows you’re digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her snapper. Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur. Do about a dozen of these “St. Bernard licks” before moving on (take it REALLY SLOW, like four seconds per lick). This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has. If it’s real sensitive she’ll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you’re probably in for an easy ride. If there’s no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits and you’re in for a thirty-minute session of tongue-tendinitis.
ROCK THE BOAT 
Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag. If you’re getting tired of being ballerina boy, take it out on the clit. Figure out how much abuse it can take without making her uncomfortable and show the little bastard who’s boss.    After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult. He’s surrounded by labia and, even after you find him, all the pressure can pop him over to the side. All of a sudden you’re giving the pee hole the seeing to of its life. Think of the clit like a tumor in a pile of ear lobes. When you push down on the area he’s the only one that can’t be squished. Once one of your tongue troopers finds him, call for reinforcements. Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention into getting him alone. Once you find him, give him a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you. Frisk him and give him a couple of whacks across the head. More on this punk and his bad attitude later.    Extra important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips. The man in the boat should feel the texture of the entire tongue pushing down on his body and his boat.
IDENTIFYING THE CLIT TYPE 
After the slow licks it’s time to get this party started. There are essentially two types of clitori. Ones that enjoy a serious going over and ones that don’t. The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away.    Extra tip: Clits come in all shapes, sizes and sensitivities, but that doesn’t really tell you much. All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning but the only way to tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions. This is impossible to teach but just do the best you can. All we can tell you is convulsing means take it ease and “Oh my God” means bring it on.
CLITS THAT NEED A SERIOUS GOING OVER 
These are the most fun because you can be creative. Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner. Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth. Now he’s on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an air-tight vacuum chamber in your mouth. Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has no idea what you’re talking about, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers and swirling circles, rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking out like it’s too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it’s a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around the clit and some tongue fucking.    As you’re closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking. Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides. When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative. You’re almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics.
Extra tip: To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue like a Mic Mac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off, killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale.
Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm. Remember, it isn’t over until the hands come down from above and lay you off. If she’s multi-orgasmic you’ll have to keep going until you’ve done the whole routine another four or five times. If you’re not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down to pull you off.
CLITS THAT DON’T 
Some clits don’t want to be singled out and battered around. These are the boring ones that need to be treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple. If you’re getting bored try going in some different directions for a while. A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue. You could be looking at half an hour here pal, and that can be problematic. If you go for that long and she doesn’t cum, you’re going to be in a foul mood, so if it’s too much work, move on. On the bright side, going for thirty minutes is something few people have the patience for, so sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around.
THE CONCLUSION 
Once you’re done (totally finished) she’s going to want you out of there pronto because the whole area is sensitive. Instead of leaving, stick out your tongue and lay it down on her like a thick, soggy carpet. Make sure you don’t move it or anything because that can actually hurt her. Just let it sit there like a dead manta ray for about thirty seconds. Then come up and wipe your face like a pirate. You now have a good minute to get the condom on and take her from the quarters of Prince Muhammad Muhammad Saddat to the cockpit of an F-15.


enjoy.

Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because it’s really fucking hard. You have to learn it. Giving good head is the key to just about everything in life (including getting good head later on), so it’s time we broke it down.

Like this. The secret to giving good head is to read the signs. You could be the best sexual mechanic in the world, but if you can’t read the emotional road signs, you’re going to end up wandering around in a desolate labial wasteland until, eventually, you drop from exhaustion, hot tears of confusion streaming down your face. Think of eating the puss as your way of saying, “although I am about to rock your insides with 3 000 lbs. of explosives, here’s a little intimate treat session to show you how I really feel.” Instead of screaming “OH MY GOD!!” like her baby has been trapped under a car (which is what fucking should do), cunnilingus elicits a more splendiferous “ooohmygodohmygod-ohmygod.” Kind of like being massaged with exotic fruits by a muscular Arab oil sheik. A good mange (that’s French for “eat,” you brutes) is like a thousand years of Saturdays or one of those Flake adverts. Break it down!

BE DOWN

Don’t go down unless you’re down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don’t want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven. DON’T SAY HI TO DRY A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that’s needed to get the honey dripping. Once you’re sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, TEASING strokes with your finger. There’s nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she’s really begging for it before you get under the covers.

Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950s milkshake with two straws.

Important: Don’t play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside. This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the TEASE factor. Try to remember that 78% of a woman’s pleasure is about YEARNING. Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire.

SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU, BABY

Once she’s lathered up, it’s time to go down. Get your fingers out of there and don’t touch anything for a bit. Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you’re going away on vacation. Though it’s very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea. It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood. Start by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down. Don’t get carried away with those stupid tits, though. That’s something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off. Right now it’s all about the stomach and inner thighs. A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee and move towards the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop. Nibble your way right up to the edge of her cunt, then skip across it and head for the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot and save you a lot of pussy-eating time in the long run. When you’re just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice next to the lips. Don’t spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that’s the actual cunt. By now she should be DYING for you to make your move. If you’re doing it right, she’ll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs. STRETCH THIS PHASE OUT until she looks like she’s been holding her breath for three days.

Extra trick: Hover over the bush for about five seconds before the first lick. If you wait longer than that, she might think you’re having second thoughts because it smells bad. Of course, we all knows that motherfucker smells sweeter than a bowl of steamin’ crawdaddies.

Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever. If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off.

PARTING THE RED SEAS

Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating pussy what cavities are to dental hygiene. You’re never going to be able to identify all the parts if she looks like that PIL album That What is Not. One hot trick is to get her to spread her lips apart so her pussy is all set up for you like a great big buffet.

THE GRAND ENTRANCE

Do your first lick super slow. It’s good to groan and moan too. It shows you’re digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her snapper. Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur. Do about a dozen of these “St. Bernard licks” before moving on (take it REALLY SLOW, like four seconds per lick). This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has. If it’s real sensitive she’ll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you’re probably in for an easy ride. If there’s no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits and you’re in for a thirty-minute session of tongue-tendinitis.

ROCK THE BOAT

Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag. If you’re getting tired of being ballerina boy, take it out on the clit. Figure out how much abuse it can take without making her uncomfortable and show the little bastard who’s boss. After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult. He’s surrounded by labia and, even after you find him, all the pressure can pop him over to the side. All of a sudden you’re giving the pee hole the seeing to of its life. Think of the clit like a tumor in a pile of ear lobes. When you push down on the area he’s the only one that can’t be squished. Once one of your tongue troopers finds him, call for reinforcements. Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention into getting him alone. Once you find him, give him a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you. Frisk him and give him a couple of whacks across the head. More on this punk and his bad attitude later. Extra important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips. The man in the boat should feel the texture of the entire tongue pushing down on his body and his boat.

IDENTIFYING THE CLIT TYPE

After the slow licks it’s time to get this party started. There are essentially two types of clitori. Ones that enjoy a serious going over and ones that don’t. The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away. Extra tip: Clits come in all shapes, sizes and sensitivities, but that doesn’t really tell you much. All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning but the only way to tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions. This is impossible to teach but just do the best you can. All we can tell you is convulsing means take it ease and “Oh my God” means bring it on.

CLITS THAT NEED A SERIOUS GOING OVER

These are the most fun because you can be creative. Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner. Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth. Now he’s on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an air-tight vacuum chamber in your mouth. Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has no idea what you’re talking about, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers and swirling circles, rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking out like it’s too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it’s a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around the clit and some tongue fucking. As you’re closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking. Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides. When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative. You’re almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics.

Extra tip: To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue like a Mic Mac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off, killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale.

Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm. Remember, it isn’t over until the hands come down from above and lay you off. If she’s multi-orgasmic you’ll have to keep going until you’ve done the whole routine another four or five times. If you’re not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down to pull you off.

CLITS THAT DON’T

Some clits don’t want to be singled out and battered around. These are the boring ones that need to be treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple. If you’re getting bored try going in some different directions for a while. A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue. You could be looking at half an hour here pal, and that can be problematic. If you go for that long and she doesn’t cum, you’re going to be in a foul mood, so if it’s too much work, move on. On the bright side, going for thirty minutes is something few people have the patience for, so sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around.

THE CONCLUSION

Once you’re done (totally finished) she’s going to want you out of there pronto because the whole area is sensitive. Instead of leaving, stick out your tongue and lay it down on her like a thick, soggy carpet. Make sure you don’t move it or anything because that can actually hurt her. Just let it sit there like a dead manta ray for about thirty seconds. Then come up and wipe your face like a pirate. You now have a good minute to get the condom on and take her from the quarters of Prince Muhammad Muhammad Saddat to the cockpit of an F-15.

enjoy.

  1. wrestlewithmycupcake reblogged this from elizadeathiliakoff
  2. highheel reblogged this from tomsmith65
  3. andramorph reblogged this from sackofhammers
  4. ohnokirtymo reblogged this from elizadeathiliakoff and added:
    Seriously, I read this last night and laughed my ass off but agreed almost the entire time.
  5. krampussymaybe reblogged this from sackofhammers
  6. eshu reblogged this from elizadeathiliakoff
  7. topjames reblogged this from elizadeathiliakoff
  8. elizadeathiliakoff reblogged this from tomsmith65
  9. sackofhammers reblogged this from tomsmith65 and added:
    i have some edits
  10. liquorbottles reblogged this from tomsmith65
  11. tomsmith65 reblogged this from chelseakinne
  12. misstrista reblogged this from oncewewereanarchists
  13. always-searching reblogged this from megstrapsgats
  14. truthsinthebackseat reblogged this from snafubar
  15. megstrapsgats reblogged this from oncewewereanarchists and added:
    pearloftheswamp:paganpoetry:apricotfum:negativenicole:(chelseakinne)
  16. aww-yeah reblogged this from chelseakinne and added:
    LULZsumpeopleshudtakethisadvicefrrealz. ;D
  17. felonybylions reblogged this from basilgray and added:
    so i didn’t read this and i didn’t learn so much.
  18. basilgray reblogged this from neilpatrickharris and added:
    I’m gonna pretend I totally didn’t just read this whole thing.
  19. katiespeachykeen reblogged this from oncewewereanarchists
  20. neilpatrickharris reblogged this from claranti
  21. claranti reblogged this from nemonisimors and added:
    This is awesome.
  22. yourlipstomine reblogged this from nemonisimors
  23. nemonisimors reblogged this from whoisalisonwonderland
  24. snafubar reblogged this from whoisalisonwonderland
  25. oncewewereanarchists reblogged this from pearloftheswamp and added:
    So, yeah. This is funny, very funny. Not gonna pretend I haven’t learnt something though.
  26. pearloftheswamp reblogged this from paganpoetry and added:
    apricotfum:negativenicole:(chelseakinne)
  27. notevery reblogged this from chelseakinne
  28. dewdropss reblogged this from sixofsire and added:
    I found this and HAD TO reblog, it’s funny as fuck: Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because...
  29. tortured-soul reblogged this from tomsmith65
  30. brittanypfund reblogged this from oyoungsailor
  31. ribbonsofdelirium reblogged this from jaclyninreallife and added:
    I lol’d at the ending. XD
  32. ladycreamherself reblogged this from oyoungsailor
  33. oyoungsailor reblogged this from shamelesslycreeping and added:
    i eat the pussy. i eat the pussy. and i’m a man about it. and i’m a man about it.
  34. shamelesslycreeping reblogged this from jaclyninreallife and added:
    “He’s not going to tell you shit because he’s a clit and he has no idea what you’re talking about, but kick his ass...
  35. jaclyninreallife reblogged this from tommydisacult and added:
    Every guy must read this. Js. Lmao.
  36. tommydisacult reblogged this from ambreeezyx3 and added:
    so this is amazing and i think from what ive read i know im already pretty good at the whole thing haha
  37. epitrope reblogged this from yesrefrigerator and added:
    seca:vinnieinfurs:paganpoetry:apricotfum:negativenicole:chelseakinne This is actually fairly good.
  38. bedancingwithmyself reblogged this from chelseakinne and added:
    le analogie fanno morire, gran bella guida ahahah
  39. ohwell-ohwell reblogged this from pirouettes and added:
    applescrufff:vinnieinfurs:paganpoetry:apricotfum:negativenicole: (chelseakinne)...someone...
  40. pirouettes reblogged this from simplyshady and added:
    Remember, don’t attack her vulva as if it were a ripe juicy peace.
  41. thehiddenme reblogged this from sixofsire
  42. sixofsire reblogged this from chelseakinne and added:
    Hilariously awesome.
  43. yesrefrigerator reblogged this from seca
  44. seca reblogged this from vinnieinfurs and added:
    I.just.lost.it. Hilarious and genius at the same time.
  45. charlieandcolour reblogged this from andie-naz
  46. andie-naz reblogged this from chelseakinne
  47. simplyshady reblogged this from vinnieinfurs and added:
    This reminds me of the “juicy ripe peach” metaphors.
  48. tomsmith65 reblogged this from chelseakinne
  49. xoxotracy reblogged this from strawberrypassion
  50. itscanarylove reblogged this from cuppycakesss
  51. thegirlnextdoor reblogged this from titillatingtidbits
  52. 16floors reblogged this from chelseakinne
  53. pervywanker reblogged this from sarcasticmontreal
  54. sarcasticmontreal reblogged this from chelseakinne
  55. titillatingtidbits reblogged this from chelseakinne
  56. strawberrypassion reblogged this from chelseakinne
  57. smallpaw reblogged this from paganpoetry
  58. paganpoetry reblogged this from apricotfum
  59. seacow reblogged this from apricotfum
  60. negativenicole reblogged this from justinclark and added:
    it made you ‘lol’ dont even lie
  61. justinclark reblogged this from negativenicole and added:
    NICOLE WHAT THE FUCK?
  62. negativenicole reblogged this from chelseakinne and added:
    (chelseakinne) someone
  63. the-sweetest-song reblogged this from chelseakinne
  64. jerod reblogged this from chelseakinne
  65. benitoro reblogged this from chelseakinne
  66. drbrianpeppers reblogged this from chelseakinne
  67. howidisappear reblogged this from brooklynmutt and added:
    Anyone who eats pussy should read this. And memorize it. Please.
  68. brooklynmutt reblogged this from thisworldwemustleave
  69. thisworldwemustleave reblogged this from bellaofthebrawl
  70. iantonymarshall reblogged this from thebalanceplain
  71. aubreyautomatic reblogged this from goodwillcunting and added:
    read. take notes. holler.
  72. lkayhew reblogged this from freewoman and added:
    HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, man. This is aawwwwwwesome.
  73. stickoutyourtongue reblogged this from sfatheart and added:
    Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because it’s really fucking hard. You have to learn it....
  74. nothingrelevant reblogged this from deadpandemonium and added:
    If not coins and candy, then what? All of a sudden the flavor of your vagina has me captivated.
  75. freewoman reblogged this from schmufflepuff and added:
    this was hilarious, and every guy should read it. my favorite part? “Don’t get carried away with those stupid tits,...
  76. deadpandemonium reblogged this from nothingrelevant and added:
    oh, but i have. i guess i’m just not one of the special ones that taste of coins and candy.
  77. sfatheart reblogged this from schmufflepuff and added:
    EX BOYFRIEND BIT ME. FUCKING ASSHOLE. KICK HIS ASS.
  78. uneasyhearts reblogged this from chelseakinne
  79. schmufflepuff reblogged this from nothingrelevant
  80. nothingrelevant reblogged this from deadpandemonium and added:
    From my experience, its usually does have both a metallic and a tangy flavor at the same time. Not too unpleasant...
  81. twolips reblogged this from chelseakinne
  82. badgirlswearchanel reblogged this from bombeastybeautiful and added:
    he doesn`t even need to read this ^_^
  83. deadpandemonium reblogged this from nothingrelevant and added:
    what does pussy usually taste like? i’ve heard it tasted tangy, sweet or metallic, like a key chainring. vagina is a...
  84. nothingrelevant reblogged this from aysunshinetm and added:
    I have the Vice Guide to Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll. This is in it, this is where I obtained my skillz.
  85. spadeoner reblogged this from le-nastee
  86. alyssanaut reblogged this from coffeeandcancer and added:
    “Oh my God” means bring it on. (LOL)
  87. jerrikaly reblogged this from chelseakinne
  88. rock5tar reblogged this from c-pain and added:
    Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because it’s really fucking hard. You have to learn it....
  89. cuppycakesss reblogged this from nohalfwaycrooks
  90. madformedusa reblogged this from goodwillcunting
  91. aysunshinetm reblogged this from nanikins
  92. solo-mind reblogged this from pineapplelo and added:
    I had to reblog it. This is a must.
  93. stephaniepham reblogged this from c-pain
  94. pineapplelo reblogged this from vizz
  95. amandadeathlock reblogged this from c-pain
  96. c-pain reblogged this from vizz
  97. vizz reblogged this from nanikins and added:
    wao @ the detail. ~jots down a few notes~
  98. jlbabs reblogged this from coffeeandcancer and added:
    Can this be sent to some sort of official publication?
  99. nylecoj reblogged this from le-nastee
  100. atticinabasement reblogged this from nanncee and added:
    I’m debating on whether or not to send this to the boyfriend. Because, I mean, he’s good at what he does, but he’s...
  101. nohalfwaycrooks reblogged this from paisleydarts and added:
    Glad I’ve never needed this. Re-blog for other hapless chaps.
  102. skidmarks reblogged this from mypinkbra and added:
    Do it right or don’t do it at all! If you do it wrong…I’ll just laugh and make fun of you after it’s all over with.
  103. mypinkbra reblogged this from coffeeandcancer and added:
    GDAMN PROFESSIONAL
  104. coffeeandcancer reblogged this from emmaleer
  105. b0sslady reblogged this from le-nastee
  106. paisleydarts reblogged this from bellaofthebrawl
  107. bombeastybeautiful reblogged this from bellaofthebrawl
  108. le-nastee reblogged this from nanikins and added:
    Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they don’t like it but because it’s really fucking hard. You have to learn it....
  109. nanncee reblogged this from nanikins
  110. nanikins reblogged this from bellaofthebrawl and added:
    my ex should read this, a nigga dunno the fuck he durrnn. hence, EX. ha!
  111. bellaofthebrawl reblogged this from chelseakinne
  112. emmaleer reblogged this from chelseakinne
  113. tinarulez reblogged this from laughingcity
  114. ambreeezyx3 reblogged this from amandanoname
  115. amandanoname reblogged this from evangelworldorder
  116. adios-beautiful reblogged this from laughingcity
  117. toomuchtoolittle reblogged this from laughingcity
  118. goodwillcunting reblogged this from est110590
  119. omnipods reblogged this from emzaazaa and added:
    omfgsh. I’m so intrigued by the writing. Ps- Do you think a girl or guy wrote this? LOLOL
  120. reeezy reblogged this from ziggdidwhat
  121. ziggdidwhat reblogged this from est110590 and added:
    this should be a pamphlet. no joke.
  122. est110590 reblogged this from evangelworldorder
  123. juaneningles reblogged this from riahh and added:
    lol.. this shit made me laugh. i actually read all of this, && im proud to say i do most of this anyway out of instinct...
  124. emzaazaa reblogged this from fuckanddestroy
  125. soul-asylum reblogged this from evangelworldorder and added:
    WOW. i wouldn’t say men SUCK at eating..but everyone needs a few tips ;-)
  126. riahh reblogged this from cuntscum and added:
    icallaudibles:evangelworldorder:laughingcity:(chelseakinne)
  127. switchingoff reblogged this from laughingcity
  128. cuntscum reblogged this from icallaudibles and added:
    while this is all well and good… if need a guide u shouldnt be doin it.
  129. icallaudibles reblogged this from evangelworldorder
  130. jfjustsaidthat reblogged this from evangelworldorder and added:
    I should print this and put it on my wall lol.
  131. evangelworldorder reblogged this from laughingcity and added:
    dash but…this was cool
  132. heythisisit reblogged this from laughingcity and added:
    HOLY SHIT. I’M CRYING FROM LAUGHING SO HARD. I LOVE THIS.
  133. fuckanddestroy reblogged this from laughingcity
  134. jesuisandrea reblogged this from laughingcity
  135. laughingcity reblogged this from chelseakinne
  136. chelseakinne posted this